So countdown is over, chemotherapy is done and dusted, hopefully for ever but at least for now. All went smoothly today. Saw the consultant..it was decided to leave out Bleomycin today because I have a cold, a slight tightness in my chest and a little shortness of breath. Bleomycin can cause problems it your lungs and it is suggested that it could react with a virus in the chest. Although this is very rare, it is better to air on the side of caution and it is the least important drug out of the four in ABVD, so seeing it was my last one and I have had it 15 times my Dr decided to give me a break today! Also some very good news - I can have a take out curry in two weeks, delicious - can't wait hope it is as good as I remember! Then I guess that means I can do things like go back to the cinema, swimming, being in crowed places - football matches and or course there is all the other take aways to catch up on...and the gym too!
So know time for the reflective part. I was thinking about what to write the other night when I couldn't sleep and knew I should have written it down then and there because now I can't think!
Well I think I have passed that bit of the test - chemotherapy that is and getting into remission. There is a lot more still to come and I am sure with that some ups and downs, but lets just hope I can go up and plateau up there for a bit!
It has been a rollar coaster of emotions, feelings and just generally. 'Good' days well as good as they can be, family days, friend days, inspirational days, days I have laughed, cried, frustrated days, anxious days full of what ifs, wanting to run away days and sleepless nights although not many I am a good sleeper and have some wicked little pills if I can't!
I can't say it has been easy but it hasn't been what I would call hard. There have been difficult times, things I have had to deal with I have never thought about before but overall you just have to do it. I think that we are quite resilient as a race, we kinda of deal with whatever is thrown at us and muddle through as best we can. I couldn't let it pass that today is the 8th anniversary of September 11th...there is always someone worst off than you.
Some friends come, some friends go, some deal with it better than others and friendships grow, people you don't expect surprise you and it is a lovely feeling to know they care. Some run away, don't know what to say, hide, I understand that too, wish I could of, but a message simply saying I don't know what to say is better then none at all. Thank you to everyone who has been there, through it all, you have all amazing, made it easier and you all know who you all are - sending some of that love back at ya.
Now got to get my life back on track...but a little bit of celebration time first hey! x
It was twenty (minus fifteen) years ago today…
4 months ago