Done and Dusted

So countdown is over, chemotherapy is done and dusted, hopefully for ever but at least for now. All went smoothly today. Saw the consultant..it was decided to leave out Bleomycin today because I have a cold, a slight tightness in my chest and a little shortness of breath. Bleomycin can cause problems it your lungs and it is suggested that it could react with a virus in the chest. Although this is very rare, it is better to air on the side of caution and it is the least important drug out of the four in ABVD, so seeing it was my last one and I have had it 15 times my Dr decided to give me a break today! Also some very good news - I can have a take out curry in two weeks, delicious - can't wait hope it is as good as I remember! Then I guess that means I can do things like go back to the cinema, swimming, being in crowed places - football matches and or course there is all the other take aways to catch up on...and the gym too!




So know time for the reflective part. I was thinking about what to write the other night when I couldn't sleep and knew I should have written it down then and there because now I can't think!


Well I think I have passed that bit of the test - chemotherapy that is and getting into remission. There is a lot more still to come and I am sure with that some ups and downs, but lets just hope I can go up and plateau up there for a bit!


It has been a rollar coaster of emotions, feelings and just generally. 'Good' days well as good as they can be, family days, friend days, inspirational days, days I have laughed, cried, frustrated days, anxious days full of what ifs, wanting to run away days and sleepless nights although not many I am a good sleeper and have some wicked little pills if I can't!


I can't say it has been easy but it hasn't been what I would call hard. There have been difficult times, things I have had to deal with I have never thought about before but overall you just have to do it. I think that we are quite resilient as a race, we kinda of deal with whatever is thrown at us and muddle through as best we can. I couldn't let it pass that today is the 8th anniversary of September 11th...there is always someone worst off than you.


Some friends come, some friends go, some deal with it better than others and friendships grow, people you don't expect surprise you and it is a lovely feeling to know they care. Some run away, don't know what to say, hide, I understand that too, wish I could of, but a message simply saying I don't know what to say is better then none at all. Thank you to everyone who has been there, through it all, you have all amazing, made it easier and you all know who you all are - sending some of that love back at ya.


Now got to get my life back on track...but a little bit of celebration time first hey! x

A week today...

So a week today I will be hopefully sitting in the chemo chair for the very last time! To be honest it can't come quick enough, this year has been god damm long so far and not very exciting. Bored of being sensible, bored of hospitals, bored of being stuck in the house, bored of having no motivation, bored of being moody, bored of not working, bored, bored bored bored bored!

Don't expect to feel miraculously better when its all over but at least I wont have to go to the hospital every two weeks to get pumped full of drugs, and energy/motivation levels should come back and stay back instead of getting knocked back down again. Hopefully once I return from holiday then I can start to get things back to normal, go to the gym, have a curry, go to the cinema, go out to the pub propably, go away for the weekend...just some of the things on my 'To do when I feel better list!'. Its all uncharted territory though so we will have to see.

How slow/fast can a week go, we shall see.

What a Relief!

What with the delights of modern technology I had to wait a little longer for my scan results than I had expected, but I got them this morning. The results are good, the scan is 'clear' but not completely negative, the radiologist remarked that he doesn't think there is any active Hodgkin's presents...However there are always quirks! There are some areas of uptake which the radiologist referred to as 'brown fat'. Apparently some people, not many, have these active areas of brown fat which can show up on PET scans. Other indications that the cancer has gone are that there are no active areas in the lymph nodes or in the area that was a concern on the chest x-ray. My consultant also remarked that my lymph nodes had reduced in size from my last CT scan...all good signs.

I also had another bit of good news over the past few days...I entered the lymphoma association's photography competition 'Look at Life Differently' and although my photo wasn't in the top twelve entries they want to use my photograph on the back of their calender! This is it below. To see the winning entries click here.

It is funny how things happen, On Monday I changed my 'count down to last chemo' at the bottom of my page to 2 weeks, a day early! From today it really is two weeks...roll on the 11th September now!

Thanks Dr for buggering up my Weekend!

Well as with all good things they do come to an end! Chemotherapy didn't quite go as planned today. Went in as normal, saw my consultant and then waited for him to review my chest x-ray which I have at the beginning of every cycle. We waited and waited, then the Dr came back and said that he had just noticed a radiologists remark on the previous cycles chest x-ray, I don't understand all the medical jargon but basically an enlarged lymph node in the right side of my chest - possibly an indication that things aren't as stable as they seem. My Dr did say that he couldn't see any difference between the chest x-rays but he isn't a radiologist. So wanted to get it checked out. Chemotherapy was cancelled for the day and I am scheduled in for an emergency PET scan on Thursday. If the result comes back negative which he suspects, then I will have chemo on Friday...which buggers up my beer festival weekend. If it comes back and shows something then we have to revert to plan B.

A Better Second Week

Had a quiet week following chemotheraphy this time...just felt too whacked to do anything really. But I did have a much better second week. Wednesday I popped down to see Jen and RoRo. Rowan had his second photo shoot! Bit of excitement to the end of the day...Verity took Harvey out for a walk in the evening and when she came back said she had seen a snake! We all went back to the place where she had seen it to try and find it again, but nothing there. I walked a bit further along the bank and at the bottom of the ditch I saw it, it heard me shouting to Mum and V and quickly slithered up the other side of the bank so I only saw it for a few seconds...not long enough to capture it on the camera!

Friday was a good day too, caught up with some friends and then went out in the evening for Lucie and Ed's leaving due. First time I had been out in the evening for about a month. Friday was definitely a good day!

Its All About Raising Awareness

Hopefully some of you will be reading this, because of the emails I have sent, facebook messages I have sent or from me posting this on forums. I am starting to realise what a valuable tool the Internet is, especially for people affected by cancer at a younger age, as it is such a part of our lives.

Check out the blogs I am following too.

IT IS ALL ABOUT RAISING AWARENESS. PASS IT ON.

ABVD - Cycle 7, Day 15 - nearly DONE!

Sitting here writing this while having chemotherapy, the days of modern technology! Typically it is a beautiful day outside!

Saw my consultant as he was back from his holiday. Discussed my fatigue - it is quite debilitating, no matter how much sleep I get I am still tired, and I haven't been doing much at all, don't know when the last time was I went out in the evening to the pub! The Dr said it is a know side effect of ABVD and it does become more prevalent the more cycles you have. He said within 2 months of finishing I should have my energy levels back. I have been doing a bit of reading on the lymphoma website and one of the things I came across was about getting the flu vacine. I asked him if I should have it this year and he said that yes that would be a good idea. Talked about whether I would have any other treatment after chemotherapy, basically it depends what the PET scan shows, and what type of remission I am in, but in all likely hood the chemotherphy will be it - fingers and toes crossed. Discussed a bit about 'if the cancer came back', which is of course is always at the back of my mind and always will be, he said we would discuss percentages after the final PET scan but did say that the odds were on my side. Chatted a bit about the treatment I would recieve if the cancer came back, basically it depends, if and when and where it manifests itself, but the end result would probably be more intense chemotherapy.

Cancer forever more will be in my life, like it or lump it!

ABVD Cycle 2, Day 15 - nearly DONE (just dacarbazine to go)!

7 weeks and 4 days until HOLIDAY!

BTW - I am trying to recruit more followers so spread the word!

Who Do You Think You Are?

The first few days after chemotherapy this time I felt rubbish, really really tired and sick! Spent the days in bed feeling sorry for myself. Friday was V's birthday, 20!!! So we went out for Prezzo's for lunch, still felt pretty rubbish to be honest but did manage to eat a bit, was pretty quiet and not much fun so sorry V. Slept for most of Friday afternoon and then had pancakes for tea, have been craving them for some reason.

Friday night I had a really disturbed night and woke up feeling very flu like - the side effects of the PEG injection. Had a whole day of Prison Break!!! Well actually not the whole day, Mum got the family tree out in the afternoon and we became absorbed in that - even missed Big Brother! Finally by bed time the sickness had subsided.

Sunday was a vast improvement, no sickness, hot flushes, aches or pains - think the PEG has finally kicked in. Monday I had back pain all day, but I think it was a result of it being that time of the month not lymphoma related, although it did bring back flash backs of the times before I got diagnosed when I was in excruciating pain.

Have spent most of last week being consumed by the family tree, it is very interesting! Our very own Who Do You Think You Are? If history was like this at school I might have liked it! And have been trying to fit in the odd bike ride, steroids don't do anything for your figure, and I have a holiday to prepare for! Met up with Sarah who is swanning off to Italy for a month, very jealous - Italy is defiantly on my 'things to do when I feel better list', have never been and have always wanted to go, everybody raves about it!

Saturday I went to watch Leanne's friend race at Snetterton Race Circuit, managed to get some good photos and the caramel shortcakes went down a storm. We had to do our own bit of rally driving to get there in time! J came second - well done!

BTW - have now finished Prison Break season 3 and need another new box set to start - done all of Lost and 24, any suggestions?!

Race for Life

This year, Mum, Verity and my Aunt Jill did the Race for Life again! Jill's 4th year of doing it and Mum's 3rd year. We went to watch them run/walk the race in Bedford. I had never been to a Race for Life event before but it was surprisingly emotional, everyone is there really, just for one reason because they have been affected by cancer, either personally or through someone they know. I loved reading all the pink notes on peoples' backs.

Before, after and during shots!

They all did extremely well, Mum and Verity beating Mum's previous years time, coming in at 28.03 minutes and Jill power walked around coming in a little after. People of all ages, fitness levels and for different reasons came over that finish line but hopefully next year I won't be stood watching I will be trying to beat 28.03! We finished the evening off with a BBQ although due to English Summertime had to eat it inside because of the rain, typical!


Monday we went to Cambridge for a bit of retail therapy and I had to get some stuff for my summer holiday before they whipped all the summer stuff out of the shops and put the Autumn stuff in. It was quite a successful trip, managed to get quite a lot of stuff. Had to have an hours sleep in the afternoon though, after only 3 hours of shopping it is not very good.

Tuesday was chemo day - ABVD Cycle 7, Day 1. They had to redo my bloods when I got there because my neutrophills were really low. With chemotherapy it destroys lymphoma cells by preventing all cells from growing and dividing. Your blood count can become temporarily low during treatment because chemotherapy is unable to distinguish between growing cancer cells or normal cells.


It is a particular concern when white bloods cells are low, neutrophills are a type of these. There are several different types of white cells, all of which function in various ways to protect the body from infection. Neutrophils, for example, protect the body by eating microbes and other potentially risky particles. They produce pus and help to alert you to the fact that an infection may be present, by causing pain, swelling and redness. White blood cells are important as they provide the body’s main protection against infection. When the number of white cells, specifically neutrophils, is low, this is known as neutropenia.


With my bloods being redone I had to wait over an hour before the start of treatment. They had a few issues with my port, at the beginning it wasn't behaving, the nurse said that sometimes it can become pressed against the vein wall, because it is such a big vein it is in with a huge blood flow and can become stuck against the wall, so she had to fire it off the vein wall with saline solution! Started chemotherapy before lunchtime, had my 2 injections and then 2 drips. While the drips were going through I watched Broke back Mountain, was a bit bored to be honest!


Because my neutrophills were so low, I had to take a PEG (Neulasta to give it its full name) injection with me to have down at the surgery tomorrow. This should engourage my bone marrow to produce more white blood cells helping me fight infection and hopefully make me feel less tired.


Felt very tired by the end of the day and icky - ABVD Cylce 7, Day 1 - DONE!

Tired, Tired, Tired

Saw my consultant today as he was going on holiday Saturday so I wouldn't be able to see him at chemo on Tuesday. He said my heart echo was all clear, as he expected, he said it in a load of medical jargon but basically my heart is still beating away ok!

Told him about my extreme tiredness. The last couple of weeks I haven't really done a lot at all because I have felt so tired and lethargic (bloody missing a night out tonight because of it, hope you have fun people!). The other afternoon I ended up sleeping for 2 hours in the middle of the afternoon. He said he didn't think it was the lymphoma coming back because I had none of the other symptoms ie. lumps, sweats or itchy skin. He suggested it might be an a cumulative effect of the chemotherapy as I have had my fair dose now, 6 cycles, 12 treatments...only 4 more to go! He said he would take a rain check on it in a couple of weeks.

We ended up being back home by 10.00am as our appointment had been at 8.20am, haven't got up that early for a long time! On the way there we were ahead of the commuters!

Made some fudge, white chocolate and oat biscuits to occupy myself for the rest of the morning. The recipe made a load but they are gorgeous so I am sure we will manage to get through them! Also rang around a few insurance companies about travel insurance, managed to find insure cancer who will hopefully insure me but it wont be cheap and they can only do the paperwork 4 weeks before you travel.

With the travel insurance kind of sorted I booked the holiday. So from the 3rd October to 10th October, Leanne and I will be here...

...sipping cocktails by the pool!

It is a place called Kalkan in Turkey -

'Nestled between the Taurus Mountains and the Mediterranean, Kalkan harbour is a sophisticated town combining all your holiday needs – history, culture, entertainment, rest and relaxation. The town boasts an array of sophisticated restaurants, boutique hotels and elegant rooftop bars in the evening, while in the day visitors can choose from a range of nearby beach clubs or vast stretches of white beaches in nearby Patara' - Tapestry Collection Website.

10 weeks Saturday and counting!

First Post :0)

Well this is my first post...

Have decided to start a blog after reading several inspirational blogs on the internet, and finding them helpful. It's something to entertain me as well, while I while away the days until my last chemo session...8th September!

To set the scene I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma back in February of this year and since then my life has changed dramatically. I had just returned from a years travelling back in November (photo - me and travelling bubs, taken last October on Whitehaven Beach, East Coast of Australia) and life couldn't have been better, it had been one big party since I had been back, going out every weekend and catching up with friends and family.

They do say cancer is a life changing experience and it definitely makes you see life differently. Funnily enough 'Look at Life Differently' is the title of the lymphoma associations photography competition this year.

What a good lead in, to allow me to tell you that I will be littering these blogs with 'pretty' pictures as since my diagnosis I have invested in an SLR camera and have been happily snapping away ever since!

This blog is designed a) as a way to keep those around me informed of my progress and b) provide an insight into living with lymphoma, to help those who have been diagnosed or for people who simply want to find out more.

If this blog just helps one person, it will be worth it. Happy reading :0)

Heart Echo

Monday was the day of my heart echo, apparently routine if you have more than six cycles of ABVD. Initially alarm bells started ringing when my consultant said he wanted to do one, but he reassured me that it was usual and he suspected everything would be fine.

Went out for a walk amongst the countryside in the morning with Mum and Harvey (my dog!) and as it was a nice sunny morning, took some photos! Ended up with Mum lying in the corn to get a photo of a poppy, dedication for you!

An echocaridiogram, to give it its full name, is a scan of the heart, really similar to an ultrasound. Essentially to check the heart is there, still alive and kicking! It was my kind of scan because I didn't have to fast for 12 hours before, of have any radiation which normally makes me puke!

Had to wear the compulsory hospital gown! The echo all in all took about half an hour. It was a painless test although a little uncomfortable at times, when the Dr was probing to get a picture of the bottom of the heart. The worst bit is getting covered in the gunky gel! At times the doctor turned the sound on, and all I could hear was, swish, swish, of what I guess is the blood flowing through my veins. I couldn't see the monitor because I had my back to it so it would have been nice if the doctor had described what he was seeing and doing but he didn't! It has been the same with all the other scans I have had, they don't like to tell you anything at the time, it is down to the consultant to give you the results. Should get the results on Friday when I see my consultant.

Another procedure to add to my list and home for lunch, bonus!

Four more to go...

ABVD cycle 6, day 15 - DONE! Four treatments to go, still 8 weeks though, blah!

Sun, sun, sun :0)

Tuesday was the start of cycle six...could have been the start of the last cycle but that is not to be so still two more cycles to go. Chemotherapy went without a hitch.

Felt Ok after chemotherapy. Actually went out for the few days after, on Wednesday I met with Charlene and she was looking after Freddy and Thursday I met with Jen and baby RoRo.

The good times ended on Friday though when I woke up with another cold. Managed to drag myself to Rhythms of the World on Saturday which was a lovely sunny day, much like the rest of the week has been. Had to have a chill out day on Sunday though because it had worn me out.

Jaffa Cakes!

Second part of cycle 5 on Tuesday. All went ok. Felt very sick and tired in the evening but that was all. ABVD Cycle 5 - DONE!

Had another jewellery making session over the next few days. Then on Friday I made Jaffa Cakes, what a per larva...they were really nice but a bit of a nightmare to make, it wasn't as easy as they made it look on TV! Went down the pub in the evening to catch up with everyone which was nice.

Have been trying to go out on my bike a bit, seeing as the weather has been nice and it feels good to do a bit of exercise, granted I don't go far and it is bloody hard but it makes me feel better that I am doing something.

Had a photography lesson on Wednesday - thanks Karen. It was a lovely day so we went out side to take photos. Did a little exercise around the village, where by you can't adjust the lens of the camera, so to get interesting shots you have to get in close to things or bend down, stand up etc. It was fun and helped me realise there are so many shots out there!

Had a good weekend, filled with pubs and BBQ's.

A Little Bit of Strawberry Fairness!

Second of June and the start of cycle 5. It was mum's birthday yesterday so she brought in some chocolates for the nurses which went down well. Chemotherapy went ok. Saw my Dr and we discussed holidays, I asked how long I needed to wait before I went off for a holiday. He said 3 - 4 weeks and that Turkey was an ok destination, so now I can look at some and hopefully book something to look forward to.

The next day I didn't feel too bad so spent the morning with Bean and got some snaps of Freddy.

Saturday was Strawberry Fair, the day started off with the weather not being that great but it brightened up in the afternoon and I managed to catch the sun on my face. It was a great day with live music, a few ciders and a nosey around the stalls. Had a lovely day and evening...managed to last until about midnight!

A cold :0(

After starting off the week all productive with card and jewellery making, it ended in a cold! Friday woke up really bunged up and feeling s**t! On the plus side managed to get a far amount of 24 watched, working myself through the box sets! Felt better on Sunday and a visit from Sals and co cheered me up. It was a lovely day too, you could even say hot so we sat outside in the garden! Not one to complain about the weather but I hope it doesn't get much hotter, its not very comfortable wearing a headscarf in the heat.

The next week passed by uneventfully. Lisa had a party for her birthday on Saturday night, which I went too but was pretty whacked from the cold so didn't stay long :0( Never knew a cold could hit you so bad.

Not much else to report so some photos...

Dum Dum Dum...

Wednesday - dum dum dum, the day of the port fitting! Got to the hospital in good time, checked in and then was taken to the room by the nurse. Went through all the paper work and had my obs done, which all in all took about half an hour. Had to then change into the hospital gown and dressing gown. Tried to just stay relaxed and watched morning TV while my stomach was going berserk, never had an operation before!

At about 10.30am, the Dr came to see me, who was going to be inserting the port. He went through the procedure with me and asked if I had any questions. He explained what a port was - 'An implantable port is a thin, soft, plastic tube that is put into a vein in your chest or arm and has an opening (port) just under the skin. This allows medicines to be given into the vein or blood to be taken from the vein'. He explained it would make my life a lot easier, assured me I would get used to it and become quite attached to it - well I don't know about that! Have to say once he was gone was more nervous, it sounded more scary then when we had talked about it at last chemotherapy!

Shortly after he had gone the nurse came to collect me. She was very nice and walked me down to theatre. She asked me how I was feeling and I told her I was nervous but she said I would be fine.
Went into the anesthetists room and got onto the chair. Had a cannula put in my arm and then was given some sedation, which when it first hits you makes you feel really light headed. The guys were really relaxed and nice, in fact I think they chatted, joked the whole time! Was then wheeled into the theatre and had the procedure done. Don’t really remember much of it, you are kind of in a trance state, although I know I talked to anesthetist and consultant throughout and didn’t really feel anything just some pushing and pulling but that was it really. Tried to scratch my nose at one point, and was quickly shouted at to not move! Also remember seeing them stitching me up, the thread and needle kept going up and down above my head! Had to spend 10 minutes in recovery afterwards, they checked my obs and then I was taken back down to my room. All in all it was a lot quicker and a lot less painless than I thought. A unique and strange experience.

Afterwards the Dr came down to see me and check that the port was ok and not too bruised or swollen. Had a look at it and it was very neat and didn’t look like it had the dressing on it, it had it was just see through like a second skin. Afterwards I was free to go.

That was the easy bit, over the next few days my arm was very painful and I couldn't really lift my arm above my head, it was very sore. Still managed to go out Friday night though for Lanny's birthday though...

PET Scan

Had to get up early Tuesday to go to my PET scan, wasn't allowed breakfast so that made getting ready all the more easy! The PET scanning unit was a relatively new department in the hospital. Had to answer a few questions before they took me through, just went over some details and they checked I was healthy enough for the PET scan. Then I was taken through to the scanning bays, had to go on my own because they don’t like you to mix with people as you are radioactive!
Had to get changed into a gown (attractive), be weighed and measured and then I was taken to a bay. Had my blood sugar levels checked and then was given the injection of radioactive stuff that was in a metal syringe!

I then had to sit for an hour and a half and try to relax so the radioactive stuff could work around my body! I had to remain as still as possible in order to get a reliable reading as possible. The time actually didn’t go too slowly as I had plenty of magazines to read. When the time was up the nurse came to get me, had to empty my bladder and then it was off to the scanning room. The scanner looks really similar to a CT scanner, it is a large tube like structure with a bed coming out of it that moves in and out, it is quite spacious so I didn't feel claustrophobic. It was a bit cold so they got some blankets to wrap around me once I was lying on the scanner. Had to have my arms above my head and was told to shut my eyes because of the bright lights in the scanner. They did a CT scan first and then the PET scan. The PET scan lasted 28 minutes, at first it felt like a life time, but once I relaxed it didn’t seem to take to long and before I knew it they were lowering me out the machine, I was opening my eyes and trying to adjust to the bright lights! Some music to listen too would have made the time go faster, but you can't have everything!

Saw my consultant afterwards and he did the usual chest checks and said he was happy to proceed with chemotherapy tomorrow. He said he would ring with results of the scan when he knew. Started to feel a bit sick while I was talking to him.

The car journey home wasn't fun, started to feel very sick and had to stop several times, must have been the radiation they gave me. Spent the whole evening feeling queasy.

Chemotherapy didn't go as straight forward as usual on Wednesday, they had real trouble getting my cannula in. It took two nurses, numerous attempts and a lot of patience before it was in! They said this was a real concern as my veins weren't likely to put up with this much more and they wouldn't get any better if we persisted. That is when the nurse suggested I have a port fitted. As soon as she mentioned it all sorts of thoughts started running through my head, 'I don't want something permanently under my skin', 'its alien'. The nurse sat and told me more about it and also showed me another lady who had one, it was very inconspicuous but still felt wrong to me. To be honest though it is the best option, can't have another day like today, not only did it take ages to find a suitable vein, the number of attempts had made my arm sore and the chemotherapy had to be administered really really slowly cause the veins were irritated and it was painful. The first time chemotherapy has been a real struggle. Came away feeling quite dishearted as I would have to go back next week to have this port fitted, should have been more chuffed at possibly completeing the half way point.

ABVD Cycle 4 - Day 1 - DONE! (not soon enough!)

Babies and BBQ's

Wednesday I spent the morning with Charlene and baby Freddie - went to the park and everything, Freddy can't fail to put a smile on your face - he is just such a dude. And then on Friday I met baby Rowan, just a few week old! He was so cute and we didn't hear a sound from him throughout the meal!

Saturday night had a BBQ with some mates - not to be repeated, had a bit of a dodgy stomach after that one and was sick the next day - nice!!! Obviously BBQ food is another food I have to avoid, along with takeaways, soft cheese, pate and sushi! Can't wait to have a take out curry and go for Chinese once this is all over!

Spoke to my Dr and he said he suspected strongly it was the BBQ food - BBQ's are the most common cause of food poisoning apparently and he advised I have lots of milk, apparently it is good for stomach bugs! Not the best preparation for my PET scan on Tuesday.